Learning and Accomplishment

     Right now, I have a grade of 101 in Honors US History.  That's really good; I've apparently worked hard and learned a lot and studied more than adequately.  Except I haven't, really.  I know what hard work learning can be, and I've worked hard at learning.  Usually, it's with music, especially with playing the piano.  Memorizing and expressing music just right is really hard and something is learned other than just that particular piece.  So I know what that feels like, that hard work at a specific goal, learned just right and with a special something that makes it worthwhile to you.  But I don't feel that with History.
     I put in varied efforts in my other classes, depending on what I need to get an A.  Because I think that I have figured out what I need to do to get an A, and that's all I'm doing.  Getting good grades is important to me, but I think I should be concerned about actually learning things as well.
     I took a US History course before.  In fact, I've taken several.  The most recent one I took I didn't finish, because I started going to public school halfway through.  I learned a lot in that course, and there were no grades.  I happen to like grades; I like being able to compare work in a concrete way and being able to say that I did well.  And since I have a 101 in History, I think I'm doing very well.  But I'm coasting.  I'm not working for this; I could have gotten a 100 on every test instead of... well... all but one.  (Two, if you count the test that I got a 107 on.)  That's all that matters to me right now, and probably for many kids in high school, or middle school, or whatever level of schooling.  The problem is that I'm not actually learning anything.  I am excelling, sure.  I am sixth in my class, out of 229 kids.
     Probably, I could put in more effort and study more (actually, just studying would be a good start).  The only test I studied for was the one I got 107 on, but it was also one that we had to memorize terms and use them in paragraphs.  I don't remember what all the terms were now, and I memorized them in the car on the way to school that morning.  That's not really studying.  But I got a 107.  Maybe the grading is off, because nobody can be better than perfect.  Nevertheless, I should study.  Maybe read the textbook.  (But that would mean bringing it home, and there's not much room in my backpack, and it's heavy, and then I'd need to take notes or something, so I'd need to bring my notebook home, and that's also heavy.)
     I could study.  I could work harder, and I could learn more.  I could make it worthwhile to be in school, and I could help myself get a good grounding in everything.  I could be anything.  (Well, I couldn't be one of those kids who get to play in Carnegie Hall before they even graduate college, and I couldn't be one of those kids who are so super-smart that they go to college before they're in their twenties.)  But I don't care enough. All I care about is that A, that straight-A record.  All I'm doing is learning what is going to be on the test, then I take the test and move on to the next one.  There is enough interesting stuff that I don't feel bored, and I have very little homework.  So I don't bother.
     Maybe I'll work harder and actually accomplish something in the future.  Probably not.  It would be nice to feel that sense of achievement, even if just for a small goal, like telling my family at dinner about whatever.  Maybe I could research all of the women who have played a big role in history, but that my teacher never teaches us because the men get precedence in textbooks.  I could find something to do, something that would make me feel as if I had done something.  It's worth the thought, and it would be worth the effort.

“Look at a day when you are supremely satisfied at the end. It's not a day when you lounge around doing nothing; it's a day you've had everything to do and you've done it.” 
― Margaret Thatcher

“The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra.” 
― Jimmy Johnson